Noah according to Aronofsky

If you are a fan of Darren Aronofsky and are planning to see a wonderful biblical epic, DO NOT see the movie Noah. It is one of the most ridiculous films I have ever seen. Part of the appeal of Aronofsky’s films is that he provides a gritty unromantic view of his themes. I had difficulty even discerning the theme.

The story of Noah from the Bible does not contain many details, certainly not enough to create an action packed two hour movie. So, Aronofsky has to embellish what is known and invents the rest.The film opens with creation and moves on to a mechanical snake shedding its skin and a plastic apple tempting Adam and Eve. We are quickly moved through the expulsion from the garden of Eden and Cain murdering his brother Abel. Up until this point, it seems that Aronofsky's aim is to create an epic on the scale of Ben Hur. The snake and apple are somewhat cheesy, and become even more so as it is repeated frame by frame each time Noah has his revelatory dreams, but we are now expecting the epic format.

At this point Aronofsky decides that there isn't enough action or suspense in the film so he begins to mix genres. From the comics, he introduces stone transformers who hate all men. Perhaps he thought the sons of Cain were not formidable enough foes. Borrowing from fantasies, we learn the origins of the transformers. (They were angels turned to stone by the Creator as punishment.) To justify the impending destruction of the world, we now are introduced to the dystopia of a world where pillaging  and rape is the accepted way of life.

The cliches now begin to multiply. The good and patient father is murdered while the young son watches. Fast forward and the son becomes Noah as an adult. He has married a beautiful, dutiful woman and we get the first glimpse of the loving family. The family is threatened, Noah has a dream (the reappearance of the mechanical snake). Now the film becomes a quest. Noah takes his family to visit his grandfather, Methusula, who has an uncanny resemblance to Hannibal Lechter. What quest is complete without obstacles? The bad guys chase, the stone transformers threaten, a young girl severely injured is found moaning in a village where everyone else has been massacred and she must be saved. Burdened by their belongings and the children who now number four, the couple finds grandfather and in a Star Wars-like scene receives a cryptic interpretation of his dream from the grandfather who now looks like Yoda.

Let's take a break from the action to discuss the wardrobe. When I imagine biblical attire, I see very rudimentary foot coverings that predate actual shoes, flowing robes, cloaks and shawls over the women's heads. The designers must have thought this was too mundane for an epic/ science fiction/quest/fantasy/ adventure movie. Noah's family all wear fine leather boots, Levi Strauss jeans. long vests, fingerless leather gloves, tops made of leather strips and suede cloaks lined with fur. Even after months on the ark, they are stylishly coiffed, impeccably dressed and sporting new clothes. in westerns, the good guys wear white and the bad guys wear white. Aronofsky's audiences are too sophisticated for such simplicity. Noah's family is dressed in designer fashions, likely to be seen in next season's casual wear catalogue. The sons of Cain shop at Target rather than at Macy's. When preparing to storm the ark, they appear as a horde, identically dressed in black armour and helmets. the weaponry is perhaps not quite period appropriate. An ember dropped into a metal tube is able to shoot out a blast without a trigger.

Now back to the plot. Noah has dreams. They always begin with that cheesy mechanical snake and plastic apple but now they have become more apocalyptical and Noah comes to the realization that his dreams illustrate that the evil world will be drowned. He decides to build an ark with a male and female of each species so that the post war era will be able to repopulate the earth. The first problem is the treeless landscape. Now is the time for one of the many miracles that help move the plot along. A geyser rises from the earth and flows outward in all directions. Within minutes a lush forest grows around the family.

The transformers that seemed to stalk the family at the beginning of film are contemptuous of humans and speak in echoing and thunderous tones, Only one speaks in a less threatening voice and befriends Noah and his family. When the task of building the ark is undertaken, this lone transformer convinces the others to help with all the heavy work. Now Aronofsky has decided to borrow elements from the Jewish Golem story. It entails a being constructed from earth who comes to life and is able to work on command. Noah begins to build an ark, but this a huge job for a man with only a young family to help. The friendly Golem/stone transformer convinces the others to help and while Noah seems to make minor adjustments, the transformers do all the heavy work, cutting down the trees, building the scaffolding, lifting and placing all the logs. Another miracle! Golems to do the work!

Did you ever wonder how Noah managed to collect all the pairs of animals requiring saving? Aronofsky has cleared that question. Borrowing from Kinsella's novel about Shoeless Joe Aronofsky adopts the belief "If you build  it they will come." As portions of the ark are completed, the animals appear on their own already in pairs, first the birds, then the reptiles and finally the mammals. They move into appropriate parts of the ark and settle in. Has Noah developed the skills of Dr. Doolittle regarding animal husbandry or are we seeing yet another miracle? 

Now, with all those animals, sanitation should have been a concern, but Noah’s clever wife has a solution. In her small garden, she has grown the herbs that have the ability to put all the animals to sleep. Perfect solution! No need to feed the animals or worry about cleaning up after them. And better yet, this amazing concoction puts only animals, not any of the humans into a deep sleep.

With the difficulty in building the ark, gathering supplies, managing the animals, Noah must need a break. I can think of no other reason for him to visit the settlement of the king of the hordes. Or perhaps Aronofsky wants to dabble with yet another genre. Up until this point, the movie has been family friendly. Adult entertainment is now in order. As Noah walks through the settlement he (and we as the audience) are witness to a scene of pillage and rape through the night. In the chaos, women are seized, walls are breached and animals are thrown to the air. The purpose of this scene is unclear to me. Is it the need to contrast the righteousness of Noah and his family with the carnal self interest of the rest of the world? Does Noah need this justification for the Creator's decision to rebuild the world by eliminating the evil? Whatever the reason is, Noah comes to the realization that he and his family are just as evil as the rest of mankind and he has been given the task to ensure that life without humans will populate the earth after the disaster.

Every script has some subplots. Those side trips in a well written story are relevant. They develop character, advance the plot or reveal important information. Those in Noah just serve to add to the length of the film and the confusion in the plot rather than clarity. 

We learned that Hila's injuries had left her barren earlier in the movie. Now, in a chance encounter with Melusulah, she is miraculously made fruitful again and to prove it, she and Shem cannot refrain from intimacy. And we all know what happens to teens indulging in unprotected sex. One can argue that those events help Noah arrive at redemption, but isn't the whole epic story about a fresh start and redemption anyway?

It is now time to return to the epic with its cast of  thousands. The hordes hold a pep rally. They are seen being roused by their leader to a state of frenzy. However, the danger to the family against these armed assailants doesn't seem to be enough for our director, or perhaps he thought the movie would be too short without another lame subplot. Distressed, Ham sets out to wander in search of  a partner. His quest is (of course) successful.The deluge is about to begin, Noah wants everyone on the ark, but Ham is missing. Time to end this little side trip. Ham is heading to the ark with future partner, trying to find his way through the attacking multitude. Despite the masses, Noah finds Ham just as the girl sets into a bear trap. There is no time to set her free and as Noah and Ham barely stay ahead of the frenzied crowds, we watch her being trampled to death.

The arc is a miracle to behold. Those transformers ware fantastic workmen. This ark has curtains to offer the members of the family some privacy during the the long journey. The animals have their own special stall-like compartments and the birds have perches. They understand how to demonstrate how they are able to see to the comfort of the creatures. There is a hearth for warmth, light and cooking and also a chimney stack to keep the quarters from becoming too smoky. With all this fantasy,it is hard not to wonder where the food is stored, what the source of water is, how everyone manages to keep so clean, and how bodily functions are managed. Perhaps this is information that we need not know.

The stone transformers continue to be helpful, barricading the ark from attack, stomping some of the men, tossing others away from the vessel, while the family secures all the hatches, or whatever needs to be done when a ship sails.

Because the world has been brought into our homes each night with the news, we know what  hurricanes, tornados or tsunamis look like. The way this flood begins is laughable. Water begins to gurgle up from beneath the ground as sheets of rain begin to drench both the attackers trying to scale the ark and the family readying itself for their sojourn. I'm certain that with CGI, special effects or even photoshop, one of these real weather disaster could have been added to the film. To me, the speed with which the land was submerged by the geyser was unbelievable, unless this is yet another miracle.

Aronofsky works hard at ramping up the danger of the trip. A precarious voyage of no determined length escorting hundreds of  animals might be smooth sailing so more problems are introduced. The king of the hordes is able to chop his way into the ark before it floats off and manages to remain a stowaway for nine months. He has sustained a very serious knee injury but it seems to heal despite the lack of care and remedies. We understand why Ham offers this help in remaining hidden, but how does he keep clean? How does he rehabiliate his knee? Does he wear the same clothing the entire time?When I am engaged by a film, I am quite happy to suspend belief when there are minor inconsistencies and incontinuities. However, when EVERY event is so implausible, I look for even more evidence of incompetence.

Finally, hitting land is not climactic enough. The sky explodes with tie dyed rainbows making me feel that I am tripping with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. All the subplots are simultaneously resolved. Ham is convinced to betray his father. Shem and Hila's planned flight is rendered impossible when Noah sets their baby ark on fire. (Where did the tools and materials for this construction come from?) The trauma brings on the birth of the baby without labour, without afterbirth, without effort. The stowaway and Noah have a fight to the death. A second child is born. Immediately after the first birth, Hila is able to climb the series of ladders to the deck unaided while holding both babies. Noah arrives ready and determined to kill both of his granddaughters as he is convinced that mankind is not part of the rebirth. And of course all ends with a happy ending. The babies are spared, Noah finds redemption and the family is reunited.

As the film ends, the camera pulls back from the small group of survivors standing reverently on the top of the promontory with their banner. Many films have little problems or unanswered questions but if they are engaging, the viewer is willing to forgive and or forget them. The melange of genres, the  costuming decisions, the pointlessness of the subplots and the lack of any character development makes me unwilling to recommend this film in any way. Any resemblance to the well-known bible story is purely accidental. Only the circumstances, not the names have been altered in provide the semblance of a Hollywood epic.