I have intended to continue this blog, but rather than write up each day in meticulous detail, I have decided instead to note what I have learned this summer so far. These realizations are in no significant order.
I have learned that I love cooking for anyone who thinks cooking is magic and raves about the simplest dishes.
I have learned that the aroma of muffins baking and coffee perking is a delightful way to wake up. Gila is thrilled to greet the day with these scents. She calls them magic muffins. Hardly, but since she has never made muffins, it seems like magic to her.
I have learned that I am an impatient teacher and Gila is an 'I need to do it all by myself' type of student. One day after breakfast, she decided to make her virgin muffins. I helped place the ingredients necessary on the counter. Gila put anything that I had touched back so she could do it herself. I handed her the whisk. She made me put it back so she could get it herself. I told her that the amount of yogurt in the container was enough and it wasn't necessary to scrape it into a measuring cup. She scraped it into the cup anyway. (It was the exact right amount.) I suggested that she measure the salt over the sink, not over the bowl and fortunately, she did follow that piece of advice because the overspill went into the sink, not into the muffin batter. By this time, I had learned. I didn't even try to get out the muffin tin or the little paper cups. The muffins were a great success but took longer to prepare than to bake. I wonder if there will be muffins when I spend another few days in Toronto.
I have learned that baking for breakfast, leftovers for lunch, a full dinner followed by a late evening dessert of ice cream and Baileys is not conducive to maintaining, let alone losing weight.
I have learned that I can easily drink shandies with every lunch and Pinot Grigio at every dinner and not consider myself an alcoholic.
I have learned that there are some courses at the Haliburton School of the Arts and not look and feel like an imposter. There are writing courses, quilting classes, remodeling clothes classes, indigo dying classes. I think I could achieve a measure of success in any one of those courses.
I have learned that each time Gila and I talk, the conversation always becomes about realizations. Even if we start discussing a meal or the view of an sunset together, the conversation morphs into a serious discussion about beliefs and experiences and
I have learned that daily therapy from Dr. Gila has been very cathartic. She understands where I have come from and identifies with many of my experiences. She helps me see my experiences through a less negative prism. The drawback is that she isn't registered on OHIP so this activity could end up being very costly.
I have learned that early in the morning when the lake is very still, you can see debris (organic, I think) insects and sometimes even scum on the surface of the water. This is not very inviting. When the wind picks up or when motor boats and seadoos wend their way around the lake, the water seems much cleaner. I've been avoiding early morning swims for that reason.
I have learned that getting into a pedal boat that is not anchored should not be done one foot at a time.
I have learned that if you head back home when you start getting tired, it is already too late to turn back.
I have learned that if you have knee and ankle issues, four hours in a pedal boat is not the best idea.
On the way to the cottage on Horseshoe Lake Road, we pass rapids at the point where the lake and the river meet as well as the Beth El Bridge. From there it takes an additional four to five minutes to get to the cottage. Sitting on the dock on the lake you can see that there is an entrance to a cove, not too far off. Gila was convinced that the bridge and rapids were at the end of that cove. The best way to confirm this was to take the pedal boat out there to check it out. The bridge is at the end of a cove but it is at the end of the third cove not the first. We had a difficult time recognizing the spot we had passed so many times. When we drive by, we notice the river, the rapids and the bridge. We have never noticed what is on the other side of the road. From the water, what we thought was a beach was just a narrow strip of shore. The sand we saw from the road was not a beach but rather the sandy parking area for this public area. The other side of the road was on a higher elevation with homes overlooking the road. We had never seen these buildings and they looked far too established to have been built in the few weeks we have been in the Minden area.
We anchored the pedal boat, had a short rest and swim before heading back to the cottage (against the current in the homeward direction). Gila was already in the boat so it was my job to untie the boat from its moorings and then get back in. I found out the hard way that when the boat is floating, you do not try to get in by just stepping into it. One foot got into the craft, the craft started to move away, I tried to hop closer to it, I lost my balance and finally fell into the water. Gila managed to get her camera out and is planning to use the film clip as blackmail. Once Gila and I stopped laughing hysterically, I tried again, this time successfully, by sitting on the edge and swinging both my legs over into the boat at the same time. I'm not sure why that was not my first approach. It certainly was easier, drier and more efficient. By the time we reached our dock, our legs were wobbly, like rubber and we both had difficulty coordinating the simple one foot in front of the other manoeuver needed for walking. I hurt in places I didn't even know I had for several days. I'm not sure when I will be willing to brave the pedal boat again.
I have learned that knitting should not be done on any wooden structure that has spaces between the boards.
While knitting on the deck, the needle slipped from my fingers as I completed a row and fell straight through a gap, landing under the deck. I had to crawl almost the full length of the deck to retrieve it. For my troubles, I got pebbles embedded into my knees, I found a small paint brush, a pen and finally a toonie for my troubles. One would think I had learned the lesson at that point, but I apparently am a slow learner. Later in the week I was knitting again but this time on the dock at Irv's cottage. The same scenario occurred at the end of the row. No one was willing to crawl under the dock in the water to find it for me, so with some luck, Irv will find it when he hauls the dock in at the end of the season. In the meantime, I'd like to finish the sweater before the end of the summer so I had to buy another pair of needles. Had I learned my lesson with these two incidents? Nope. A few days later I was knitting on the deck and once more, when I finished a row, the new needle fell down under the deck. Again, I had to get down on my protesting knees to retrieve it (and a fork I had dropped the day before). The next time I decided to knit, I spread a towel underneath the chair I was in and even though I dropped the needle a number of times, I still have both of them. Like I said, there are days when I am slow on the uptake.
I have learned how to get farts out of a hollow noodle.
I have learned that before you turn on the stove, you need to make sure that the burner cover is off the burner. I learned that scorched metal sets off the smoke alarm and has a nasty smell that is hard to dissipate.
I have learned to remove any plastic objects from adjacent burners when you are cooking at maximum heat. The kettle here still works, but one of the edges makes it look like a refugee from a Dali painting.
I have learned that in order to share in the costs of living in the cottage, I have to go shopping by myself.
I have learned that to avoid washing dishes you need to say either, "I'm digesting my food, I'll do them later" or "I don't do dishes" while waving your artfully manicured and rhinestoned fingernails.
I have learned that keeping waffles in the oven for two and a half hours renders them as hard as hockey pucks and therefore inedible.
I have learned that I am much better at finding things someone else has lost than something I have lost.
Gila misplaced on of the three remotes that belong to the entertainment centre. She looked everywhere, in the bedrooms, under furniture, in the bathroom, in the kitchen. She despaired that it was gone forever. As I walked by the sofa, the remote was clearly visible between the throw pillows.
The gold bracelet that I bought at a Northland fundraiser several years ago has gotten into the habit of slipping off my wrist. You would think that I would stop wearing it or get it shortened. That's what a person careful with her possessions would do. I on the other hand . . . The first time I lost it, it was in the sleeve of the sweater I had been wearing. I found it the next day. Then it went missing again when I visited Irv's cottage the first time. I retraced all my steps but could not find it. Five months later, when a guest opened up the bed sofa, he found the bracelet. Now I was determined not to lose it again. I was afraid that the third time, the loss would be permanent. When I was descending the ladder into the lake, I noticed that I had forgotten to remove the bracelet. So, I climbed back on to the dock and put it in the pocket of my fleece where I knew it was safe. Trying to find it at the bottom of the lake would have been a little hard. Two days later, getting ready to go home for a few days, I decided to put my bracelet back on. I looked in the first pocket. No bracelet. I looked in the second pocket. No bracelet. Maybe I had put it in my sweatshirt, not my fleece. Nope, not in either of those pockets. It tried to retrace my steps. I had been cold and tired after my swim. I was wearing the fleece and took a nap on the sofa which also opens into a bed. No luck. I looked under the sofa and beds. I looked in the garden where I had been sitting in the sun. I somehow knew that if I were careless the third time it would likely be gone forever, so I just stopped thinking about the bracelet and accepted that it was gone.A week later, on my return from another visit home, it had turned quite chilly. It honestly felt like a late September day, not a mid August date. Before I went out to barbeque, I put on the fleece to keep warm while waiting for the meal to cook, I put my cold hands into the pockets. At the bottom of the left pocket, I heard a jingle and felt a chain. It was my lost bracelet! I know that I had checked the seemingly empty pockets on multiple occasions, but each time, there was no evidence of any bracelet and yet a week later, there it was! I have put it into my wallet and plan to have it altered once I am home. I just hope it won't play hide and seek when I am packing up for home.
I have learned that I am not as good at multitasking as I thought. Breathing and talking at the same time is very difficult.
I have learned that when the air is chilly, despite the sun, the lake will also be cold. If you are determined, nevertheless, to go in swimming because it is the last day at the cottage, the only way to get into the lake is by jumping. Your entire body gets numb instantly so you can no longer feel the cold.
I have learned that if you stand in a marsh, you will sink into the mud. If you are wearing crocs, the crocs stay in the mud when you try to release your feet. If the crocs are dark blue, they are very well camouflaged and difficult to retrieve.
I learned that if you fall in the mud, even your panties under your leggings get mucky.
I learned that if you want some wild flowers, it makes more sense to take the long walk to the road than to pick them from the marsh beside the cottage.
I have learned to relax. To get any looser, my bones would have to be removed.
I have learned that when I am low, I function better among people than alone.
I have learned that when I am annoyed, to remember that I speak English and address the problem rather than letting it fester, turning a mole hill into a mountain.
And finally, I have confirmed that having Gila in my life is a godsend.
Despite a few blips, this has been a memorable summer. July started on shaky ground with the Jewish alpha women together for a long, long weekend followed by a few weeks of feeling low and withdrawn. But once I got myself out of the funk, everything became fun again. We laughed constantly and have reached a point where a single word is all that is necessary to remind us of an incident. That word often initiates even more laughter. But we have also had serious moments, relating past memories and events, finding shared experiences and just listening when either one of us feels the need to rejoice, to mourn or to vent.
When my relationship with Judy ended, I felt an enormous hole in my existence. The hurt, the self recriminations and regret are still there, but having Gila in my life has made me feel more secure about myself and my place in this world. I am finally getting to know who I am. The facades are crumbling and the masks have vanished. My choices, my actions, my reactions, my words are all mine, not the ones I think are expected of me. It is a much easier and satisfying way to live. I have no doubt that there will be moments when the perceived expectations of others will push me off my new path. But by remembering to set and maintain boundaries, I am confident that I will continue to discover that the facades and masks are not needed and I can continue to emerge from the pit I put myself into for most of my life
I have learned that early in the morning when the lake is very still, you can see debris (organic, I think) insects and sometimes even scum on the surface of the water. This is not very inviting. When the wind picks up or when motor boats and seadoos wend their way around the lake, the water seems much cleaner. I've been avoiding early morning swims for that reason.
I have learned that getting into a pedal boat that is not anchored should not be done one foot at a time.
I have learned that if you head back home when you start getting tired, it is already too late to turn back.
I have learned that if you have knee and ankle issues, four hours in a pedal boat is not the best idea.
On the way to the cottage on Horseshoe Lake Road, we pass rapids at the point where the lake and the river meet as well as the Beth El Bridge. From there it takes an additional four to five minutes to get to the cottage. Sitting on the dock on the lake you can see that there is an entrance to a cove, not too far off. Gila was convinced that the bridge and rapids were at the end of that cove. The best way to confirm this was to take the pedal boat out there to check it out. The bridge is at the end of a cove but it is at the end of the third cove not the first. We had a difficult time recognizing the spot we had passed so many times. When we drive by, we notice the river, the rapids and the bridge. We have never noticed what is on the other side of the road. From the water, what we thought was a beach was just a narrow strip of shore. The sand we saw from the road was not a beach but rather the sandy parking area for this public area. The other side of the road was on a higher elevation with homes overlooking the road. We had never seen these buildings and they looked far too established to have been built in the few weeks we have been in the Minden area.
We anchored the pedal boat, had a short rest and swim before heading back to the cottage (against the current in the homeward direction). Gila was already in the boat so it was my job to untie the boat from its moorings and then get back in. I found out the hard way that when the boat is floating, you do not try to get in by just stepping into it. One foot got into the craft, the craft started to move away, I tried to hop closer to it, I lost my balance and finally fell into the water. Gila managed to get her camera out and is planning to use the film clip as blackmail. Once Gila and I stopped laughing hysterically, I tried again, this time successfully, by sitting on the edge and swinging both my legs over into the boat at the same time. I'm not sure why that was not my first approach. It certainly was easier, drier and more efficient. By the time we reached our dock, our legs were wobbly, like rubber and we both had difficulty coordinating the simple one foot in front of the other manoeuver needed for walking. I hurt in places I didn't even know I had for several days. I'm not sure when I will be willing to brave the pedal boat again.
I have learned that knitting should not be done on any wooden structure that has spaces between the boards.
While knitting on the deck, the needle slipped from my fingers as I completed a row and fell straight through a gap, landing under the deck. I had to crawl almost the full length of the deck to retrieve it. For my troubles, I got pebbles embedded into my knees, I found a small paint brush, a pen and finally a toonie for my troubles. One would think I had learned the lesson at that point, but I apparently am a slow learner. Later in the week I was knitting again but this time on the dock at Irv's cottage. The same scenario occurred at the end of the row. No one was willing to crawl under the dock in the water to find it for me, so with some luck, Irv will find it when he hauls the dock in at the end of the season. In the meantime, I'd like to finish the sweater before the end of the summer so I had to buy another pair of needles. Had I learned my lesson with these two incidents? Nope. A few days later I was knitting on the deck and once more, when I finished a row, the new needle fell down under the deck. Again, I had to get down on my protesting knees to retrieve it (and a fork I had dropped the day before). The next time I decided to knit, I spread a towel underneath the chair I was in and even though I dropped the needle a number of times, I still have both of them. Like I said, there are days when I am slow on the uptake.
I have learned how to get farts out of a hollow noodle.
I have learned that before you turn on the stove, you need to make sure that the burner cover is off the burner. I learned that scorched metal sets off the smoke alarm and has a nasty smell that is hard to dissipate.
I have learned to remove any plastic objects from adjacent burners when you are cooking at maximum heat. The kettle here still works, but one of the edges makes it look like a refugee from a Dali painting.
I have learned that in order to share in the costs of living in the cottage, I have to go shopping by myself.
I have learned that to avoid washing dishes you need to say either, "I'm digesting my food, I'll do them later" or "I don't do dishes" while waving your artfully manicured and rhinestoned fingernails.
I have learned that keeping waffles in the oven for two and a half hours renders them as hard as hockey pucks and therefore inedible.
I have learned that I am much better at finding things someone else has lost than something I have lost.
Gila misplaced on of the three remotes that belong to the entertainment centre. She looked everywhere, in the bedrooms, under furniture, in the bathroom, in the kitchen. She despaired that it was gone forever. As I walked by the sofa, the remote was clearly visible between the throw pillows.
The gold bracelet that I bought at a Northland fundraiser several years ago has gotten into the habit of slipping off my wrist. You would think that I would stop wearing it or get it shortened. That's what a person careful with her possessions would do. I on the other hand . . . The first time I lost it, it was in the sleeve of the sweater I had been wearing. I found it the next day. Then it went missing again when I visited Irv's cottage the first time. I retraced all my steps but could not find it. Five months later, when a guest opened up the bed sofa, he found the bracelet. Now I was determined not to lose it again. I was afraid that the third time, the loss would be permanent. When I was descending the ladder into the lake, I noticed that I had forgotten to remove the bracelet. So, I climbed back on to the dock and put it in the pocket of my fleece where I knew it was safe. Trying to find it at the bottom of the lake would have been a little hard. Two days later, getting ready to go home for a few days, I decided to put my bracelet back on. I looked in the first pocket. No bracelet. I looked in the second pocket. No bracelet. Maybe I had put it in my sweatshirt, not my fleece. Nope, not in either of those pockets. It tried to retrace my steps. I had been cold and tired after my swim. I was wearing the fleece and took a nap on the sofa which also opens into a bed. No luck. I looked under the sofa and beds. I looked in the garden where I had been sitting in the sun. I somehow knew that if I were careless the third time it would likely be gone forever, so I just stopped thinking about the bracelet and accepted that it was gone.A week later, on my return from another visit home, it had turned quite chilly. It honestly felt like a late September day, not a mid August date. Before I went out to barbeque, I put on the fleece to keep warm while waiting for the meal to cook, I put my cold hands into the pockets. At the bottom of the left pocket, I heard a jingle and felt a chain. It was my lost bracelet! I know that I had checked the seemingly empty pockets on multiple occasions, but each time, there was no evidence of any bracelet and yet a week later, there it was! I have put it into my wallet and plan to have it altered once I am home. I just hope it won't play hide and seek when I am packing up for home.
I have learned that I am not as good at multitasking as I thought. Breathing and talking at the same time is very difficult.
I have learned that when the air is chilly, despite the sun, the lake will also be cold. If you are determined, nevertheless, to go in swimming because it is the last day at the cottage, the only way to get into the lake is by jumping. Your entire body gets numb instantly so you can no longer feel the cold.
I have learned that if you stand in a marsh, you will sink into the mud. If you are wearing crocs, the crocs stay in the mud when you try to release your feet. If the crocs are dark blue, they are very well camouflaged and difficult to retrieve.
I learned that if you fall in the mud, even your panties under your leggings get mucky.
I learned that if you want some wild flowers, it makes more sense to take the long walk to the road than to pick them from the marsh beside the cottage.
I have learned to relax. To get any looser, my bones would have to be removed.
I have learned that when I am low, I function better among people than alone.
I have learned that when I am annoyed, to remember that I speak English and address the problem rather than letting it fester, turning a mole hill into a mountain.
And finally, I have confirmed that having Gila in my life is a godsend.
Despite a few blips, this has been a memorable summer. July started on shaky ground with the Jewish alpha women together for a long, long weekend followed by a few weeks of feeling low and withdrawn. But once I got myself out of the funk, everything became fun again. We laughed constantly and have reached a point where a single word is all that is necessary to remind us of an incident. That word often initiates even more laughter. But we have also had serious moments, relating past memories and events, finding shared experiences and just listening when either one of us feels the need to rejoice, to mourn or to vent.
When my relationship with Judy ended, I felt an enormous hole in my existence. The hurt, the self recriminations and regret are still there, but having Gila in my life has made me feel more secure about myself and my place in this world. I am finally getting to know who I am. The facades are crumbling and the masks have vanished. My choices, my actions, my reactions, my words are all mine, not the ones I think are expected of me. It is a much easier and satisfying way to live. I have no doubt that there will be moments when the perceived expectations of others will push me off my new path. But by remembering to set and maintain boundaries, I am confident that I will continue to discover that the facades and masks are not needed and I can continue to emerge from the pit I put myself into for most of my life
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